


This one time ...

by ReprobateGamer



Category: Oxenfree (Video Game)
Genre: Angst and Tragedy, Canon Compliant, Gen, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Non-Linear Narrative, Not Happy, Spoilers, Time Loop, at least kinda, oxenfree - Freeform, probably best not to read if you haven't played the game, seriously stop reading if you haven't played the game
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-21
Updated: 2019-02-21
Packaged: 2019-11-01 22:17:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17875859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReprobateGamer/pseuds/ReprobateGamer
Summary: This time around Alex remembers much more ... and it doesn't put her in a good place





	This one time ...

The water is lapping at the boat as it departs.

I stare at the water with horror as the memories coalesce this time.

Ren is behind me.

 

...  _hiisssszzz ..._

 

"Are you listening, Alex?"

 

"I'm listening." I don't turn from the water

"Then what am I talking about."

"Something about cookies." I say it slowly and uncertainly. This is not because I didn't hear him talk about how the recipe of the cookies on Edward Island changed for the worse, it's because i firmly, suddenly, know 

 

...  _hiissszzzz ..._

 

that I, we, have done this trip to Edward Islands so many times before. And by that, I mean this  ** _specific_** trip. Without looking, I know Ren is giving me a look as if to imply that he is put-out, the look that normally makes me want to rib him just that little bit more

"You'll get used to this, Jonas." He is turning to look at my step-brother, who will be near the rail on the other side of the boat. "Alex sometime spaces out ..."

I stop listening

 

...  _stupid girl ..._

 

How many times have we visited this Island on this night and set in motion the events that lead to us finding ourselves back here

 

...  _you can save Michael ..._

_..._ _sacrifice Cla-Ris-Sa ..._

 

Ren and Jonas move into the cabin and take seats. I move with them but don't sit and move to the back of the boat. At the base of the stairs there is a spot where I think ( _I know_ ) no-one on the boat can see me. I watch the jetty shrink behind us in the wake as the last of the sunlight fades, glistening motes in our trail.

Ren is remembering that step-brother is a thing

 

... _is this helping him? .... I don't know what else to do_

_... he fell ..._

 

I remember the cycles. Maybe not all of them but enough. More than enough! Oh god.

Michael was alive last time. Clarissa was not.

Noone else knew that was wrong.

 

I hadn't found all of Adler's notes. Ren and Nona had been surprised that I wanted not to go into Adler's house but to hunt through the woods 

 

...  _bench, base of tower, beach ..._

 

_..._ _silly little girl ..._

 

for some notes from some old lady who was a recluse.

 

I was disappointed in myself when the time came, I didn't know the names, fumbled with the radio, took the exit, left my brother's girlfriend in the other place

... _for all eternity ..._

 

I shivered as the sun sank behind the hills and the fog began to obscure the jetty, held Michaels old red coat closer, looked at my blue hair jaggedly reflected in the water. Somewhere down there was the USS Kanaloa, sunk as the result of an observant young woman following her job, doing the right thing at the wrong time in the wrong place

 

...  _for all eternity ..._

 

and forever paying the price. I felt like I knew that feeling. 

I could feel the weight of Edwards Island approaching even now, even with most of the journey to go. Don't know why I could remember so much this time, normally deja vu

 

...  _have we done this before ..._

_... Jonas we are in a loop again ..._

 

but this time I could remember the ...  ** _STATIC_**... the radio in my pocket opening the breach to  _the other place_ , could remember Ren and Nona getting closer but not closer enough, could remember Ren looking at me the morning after, hurt at our break, could remember Jonas not remember, could see Michael concerned but only mildly, just another adventure with his little sis 

 

...  _you think you can fix this with a toy ..._

 

The radio signal in the car park lot, waiting for Allie who was a no-show had pricked my brain and as we approached the ferry for the first time ... _again_... more and more flashes of what had been.

It was a flood now.

 

We had done this  _so_ very many times.

My reflection hunched over as the weight of those cycles crushed in on me, like the ocean water rushing in as the reactor imploded

 

...  _red eyes ..._

...  _hhhiiissszzz ..._

 

Somewhere we were passing over where the ghosts had been pulled ... _wrenched_... from this existence

 

... _for all eternity ..._

 

and knowing, just knowing, that we, I, all of us, could not  **ever** escape made my chest tighten

 

In a minute, Ren was going to suggest a photo, then ask about the radio ... _toy..._ and we'd, I would, hear my voices coming over the broadcast

 _... Did you hear that?..._  

and there would be no escape.

 

There was no escape.

 

... _for all eternity ..._

 

No escape.

I watched the water as the fog closed in enough to block out all signs of life around us, only our little boat with it's ... _red..._ lights and Ren and Jonas talking about toothbrushes.

 

No escape.

 

The crew of the Kanaloa below us

...  _we were ripped from this existence ..._

unable to escape

_...for all eternity ..._

in the water.

 

Right there.

 

....

 

....

 

....

 

...  ** _STATIC_** ...

 

....

 

...

 

..

 

.

 

.../___/...

 

 

Ren jumped to his feet.

"Hey," he said to Jonas, as he felt an ebb approach in the conversation. "We should get a photo."

"Sure." replied the more laconic Jonas. They both became to move towards the bow of the boat. 

"Hey Alex, get in here."

There was no answer and Ren busied himself with the camera phone for a moment.

"Hey Alex, I'm not taking this photo until you get in here. i can wait all night."

No answer.

The two boys looked again and couldn't see her. They moved to the back of the boat and she wasn't there. There was no way to have moved up the stairs to the upper deck without being seen or making a noise but they checked nevertheless. Then back downstairs. Then with Fiona in the pilots cabin.

 

Then with urgency shouting out into the fog as the boat came around, hoping against hope.

 

There was no blue hair or red coat visible, faded in the fog or otherwise. The hastily summoned lifeboat rescue wouldn't find any sign.  The radio would not capture any broadcast again.

Like brother, no body to be found.

 

 

.

..

...

 

 

The water is lapping at the boat as it leaves.

 

Ren is behind me

 

"Hey are you listening Alex?" He asks.

 

"The cookies aren't as good any more."

 

"hmm, close enough. You see Jonas, you'll get used to Alex spacing out ..."

 

I look over the water a moment longer

 

...  _deja vu ..._

 

_..._

 

_.._

 

_._

 

**Author's Note:**

> I described this game as 'Groundhog Day meets The Twilight Zone' after playing it and the mention of Groundhog Day got caught in my mind and somewhere this was dislodged.
> 
> The game never expressly says if death in the time loop would be permanent - I'm treating it the same way that Groundhog Day does (the character in the loop is safe when the loop comes around again as they wouldn't have been in a position to die in the original time line) It does seriously imply that the humans don't have full recall of the events each time through, just the odd feeling of deja vu.
> 
> YMMV if Alex is an exception and does regain (some of) her prior loop memories over the course of subsequent loops; this was me pondering the effects of her remembering and what could/may/had/will happen in that case
> 
> Thanks for reading - it got a little dark


End file.
